Our New Home and a little update

Well it has been awhile. I think this time I am going to write down my password! 
The last time I posted was nearly a year ago after I married a wonderful man. I can't believe how quickly the year has gone. I am continuously reminded about how every year from now on will continue to go by faster and faster.
I wanted to post to give an update on all that we have gone through in the last year. 

May 2011- At the end of May Andrew and I took a trip with some friends up to the Black Hills. That was so much fun. We had beautiful weather and we also had rain, and snow. Interesting weekend but tons of fun with friends.

June 2011- I got a job in Omaha. Before I moved I hadn't spent any time looking and after getting settled and putting in a few resume's, our God was ever so faithful. I was hired on at ACI Worldwide as a GL/consolidation accountant. I absolutely love what I do, and I really enjoy the people I with whom I work.

August 2011- We took a trip to FL for a family vacation. Spent time with the Brook side of the family. I am glad I am part of a family who continues to get together often even when the kids are grown.

October 2011- Our neice Quinn was born and we took our Arkalala trip home for the weekend to meet the little lady and for the fun festivities.

November 2011- Andrew and I bought a house. I know what your thinking. 'That was fast!', and it was!!. Not what we were really expecting but we love our home. I could go on and on about it, in fact some times I feel I am spoiled. We had talked about wanting a house and had discussed we would purchase in a year or so, but we didn't make it that far. We found something and fell madly in LOVE. It is an older home built in the late 1960's, 3bedroom and 1 3/4 bath with a beautiful back yard. The owners (there has only been one owner) loved this home and you can tell when you walk inside. We have a lot of work making it our own but we aren't in a hurry. We are just enjoying it while we can! Here are a few pictures I know many of you have been hoping to see.


PS. The large green bushes that you see have since been removed.

                                Got to love the green appliances. Definately adds character!

December 2011  We spent most of the time in the car driving to and from our homes and working.

January-March 2012  During this time Andrew had a job loss scare. KVC Nebraska after a battle with state decided to pull away from their contract with the state. Forcing other agencies in Nebraska to pick up KVC case loads (children in custody). The good thing for KVC was that a majority of the employees were then needed at the other agencies, but this also ment that there wasn't much left for Andrew as he was the HR manager for over 500 employees. God was good and worked through Kansas Corporate office to offer Andrew a newly created (for him) recuiter position. He is still working with KVC out of Omaha.

I have been working non-stop. Year end continued into April 2012 as we purchase a company halfway through Feb 2012.  I am still playing catch up but looking forward to reducing those 70hr+ weeks. I think Andrew (and the dog) is looking forward to seeing me some more as the summer months are getting closer.

This last month we were able to help welcome our new Brookens/Hoffman nephew into the family. Andrews older brother Nathan and his wife Natalie had there first child Austin (AJ). Cute little guy. Looking at these little ones makes me wonder how people can choose not to believe.

Over the next few months we have 3 friends having babies, a trip to Tennesse planned, a trip to branson with family, a few house projects and some good time gardening.   I have started a garden that has some items growing. I coudn't believe it. It is so neat how it all just forms out of a tiny seed. I'll have to keep you all updated on the progress! I can't wait.

Stay tuned for more pictures of the changes in the house and garden updates.

A New Start

This is the end of my second week after a name change. I did get married over Easter. Andrew and I then went on to Williamsburg, VA for our honeymoon. We had so much fun out there. It was a really neat experience to see and be remind of how and where our country was formed. Things we all forget about, its nice to be reminded.
A lot of people ask me how it feel, and I want to let everyone know that not much is different. I do live a new city and state, I don't have a job (yet), and I live with a boy; but it doesn't feel different. It is actually really nice because I get to spend all my time with the man I love. The man God gave to me to be my support, companion and partner. Praise God
So now that I am living in a new state and city there is a lot I left behind, one being my job. I am in the process of looking for the job the Lord has for me. The last few jobs that I had basically been given to me, dropped in my lap per se, so this process is pretty new to me. I just pray that the Lord will give me the knowledge and writing techniques to make my new resume stand out. I don't think I am looking forward to this process.
I don't currently have any pictures yet, but I do have a few videos that I will share once I figure out how to load them on the blog.

89 Days and Counting

I came home today from work thinking about how I needed to email my family about reserving a room at the ONE hotel in Baldwin City (the town were I'm getting married). So I sat down and wrote an email that took me forever to write and as I was writing it it really started to hit me.
Here I am writing and email to my family about hotels to reserve for my wedding. "MY WEDDING". Holy cow, it is going to be MY WEDDING. People are going to come to celebrate with Andrew and I as we give up our singleness to commit the rest of our lives to one another. Not only is it crazy I am actually getting married, but what a blessing it is going to be for our family and friends joins us as we make that decision.
Sometimes I just get this hint of realization that it is all happening and I get super excited on the inside. I spent so much time worring and fretting about who God had for me and the "what if God doesn't...", and look God has blessed me with a wonderful man who loves Him first and foremost but who also loves and cares endlessly for me. God is so good.
Now I am just praying that the Lord can really help me keep my cool over the next couple of months as the planning process continues and Andrew and I learn more about one another and decisions start to be made. It will all work out I know because God has never failed me! =)

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Engagement

Yippee!!! I don't know how to start. This has been a very very busy last year for me, but it has been one of the greatest. The last time I posted anything was last year around this time my little nephew, Jack, had just came into the world. Isn't he just a precious little boy. God has blessed our family with this bundle of joy.

More importantly, for the sake of my blog, as my title indicates, I was a "Lady in Waiting". God had called me to my time of singleness to grow closer to Him and learn how to be the woman He has called me to be. I am still not proficient in either category, but the Lord seemed to believe it was time to bless me with my now fiance, Andrew.

I didn't want to write about my relationship with him, because I wanted to know where things were heading before I started telling the world about him. But now that he is mine, I am able to tell world about what and amazing fiance I have.

Here is our amazing engagement story.

So we wanted to take a trip to Silver Dollar City. The place we claim our relationship began to take root. Trip was planned, Andrew was in town and bags were packed. He picked me up from work and on the road we went. He missed his exit and when we turned around and got on hwy 7 from hwy 71, I said " Do you remember this is about the time that our discussion ended last year." He didn't say much he just mumbled. On our way back from Branson last year we had a heated discussion about life on hwy 7, and finished the conversation just as we almost hit hwy 71. As we were driving he started telling me that the temperature gauge on my car was going crazy. He said, "Jannie, oh my gosh, your temperature gauge just dropped below 190. I glanced over and politely said "Are you sure?", knowing very well that the gauge is always below 190. He kept insisting on how concerned he was about it. I asked him if he was sure it had dropped. He said "Definately, and I would feel better if we stopped to take a look and make sure that nothing is leaking". He wasn't totally off with that comment because the weekend before my dad had just fixed my leaky coolant system. I proceeded to say " Right now?" "Yes", he said. "Sure, do what you want."

While all this was going on I thought you should now we are driving down the highway at 6pm at night in December, which means that it is going to be dark outside. I didn't know what he was going to do if something was wrong. When I looked over at him, he was putting on a different coat than what he had been wearing. I kinda thought that was weird but didn't say anything about it. He walked over under the hood and looked at me. Then walked over to the car door and said to me, "Get out here I need your help right now!" Wow! I thought, we have to talk about the attitude when we get back in the car because lets just say, that is not necessary.

He showed me where he wanted me to hold the flash light, and as he was going around to the other side of me I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was getting on the ground. Again I thought, what is he doing. It is dark outside, does he really think that he can get under the car in the grass on the side of highway to see a leak, with the smallest maglight ever made. =) Well when I turned to ask him what he was doing, there he was on one knee with the RING in his hand. Immediately I turned away and started laughing. I didn't know what else to do. I turned back to him and gave him a hug. I don't even remember him asking me to marry him, but Andrew says that he asked me twice to make sure my answer was the same. When he stood up he proceeded to tell me why he had asked me on the highway. He said, "Jannie do you remember last year when we were on this road, well after our conversation as frustrated as you were making me, I told myself. This is the girl I want to marry." Such a sweet guy.

I had know at that time a year ago that this guy sitting next to me liked me, but I didn't want to have anything to do with him besides our friendship. God can do great things in people if we just let him.

A funny side note to the story, we were holding hands in the car, I told him I didn't really want to hold his hands because they were soooo sweaty and not only sweating but his finger tips were freezing. He said "I know but I'd rather my hands be sweating and hold your hands than not." So I kept holding his hand. After everything it hit me why Andrew would have clammy hands! =)

Now the planning begins. April 23rd will come soon.

Current Life of Me

Ok, I know it has been awhile since I have written about my life. Last time I posted something was back in January when my little nephew (Jack) was born, cute kid. I am pretty disappointed that I don’t get to see him grow up more often. Though I am thankful for the technology so that I can see video’s and pictures monthly on his growing process.
I have had a few things happen in my life since this monumental event in my family. I’ll start with simple events and work my way up!! =) My little sister Katie got engaged right around Valentines Day. Can you believe that? My little sister is going to be getting married. Sometimes I don’t see her as being old enough to marry and be responsible for herself. I still see her as being my 17yr old sister back in high school.
I think I have mentioned this before but I am going to mention it again. Kayle and I are still involved in agility, but we love more and more as the time goes buy we are taking Obstacles 2 for the second time. We know how to do things but she just needs to be a little more aware of the next obstacle in front of her before we move up. She likes to watch me, because I am the one with the treat!, but really she should be more excited about the event in front of her than me. I am working on that but currently I am not succeeding. But we will keep trying and hopefully soon maybe we can try to compete.
I’m still serving with the youth in the church. The Lord is really working on me with those kids. There are things going on with some of those kids I had hoped and prayed they would never have to go through. I just don’t understand most of it and it just doesn’t make sense to me. But I must be understanding and loving showing them the way to the cross of surrender. It is so hard for any of us to understand that when in today’s world society makes everything awful seem like the norm. They tell them this is something everyone goes through “you” just have to make it through. It’s not about us. It’s about Christ and surrendering our whole selves over to the Lord and allowing him to do the work. So easily said yet not easily done.
In our society today taking care of ourselves first is written all over everywhere. I don’t know about you but I remember a little song about being joyful. If you want to have Joy in your live you must put Jesus first Others second and Yourself third. Doing it Christ way will ultimately give us the JOY we need in our lives.If you think about me and the youth please lift a prayer up for me, asking that the Lord will give me the wisdom and discernment on how to share and encourage these young ones.

It's official I am an Aunt!!

Tuesday, January 5th I woke up around 2:30, my dog was ready to play so I thought maybe she needed to go out. So I let her out while I made myself a ICE COLD glass of water (for some reason I couldn't make it cold enough) I was really thirsty. She came in running and jumping, but it was 2:30 I wasn't ready for play. I took the wake up call as a prompting of the Holy Spirit to pray. So I prayed for specifically our youth, and some worry issues I am having, and then I had a voice in my head that said "don't forget your sister".
So Monday I talked to my mom on the phone and she had told me that Amy was dilated to a 3 at her appointment and that she had asked to be induced. Doctor said maybe next week. Mom also said she had been having contractions and later that night Katie told me Amy had said she felt her hips move. I thought "Oh good, our little boy is coming out late this week."

So with all this in mind I prayed for her too, and then fell asleep during the process!! I must have not been too sleepy because I get a call. I NEVER hear my phone ring while I am sleeping. I am a very heavy sleeper and usually don't pay attention to all the surrounding noises. So well I grabbed the phone checked the time and it was 4am, and the caller ID read Cody. I immediately got a smile on my face, ran my finger across the slide bar (I have the iPhone) and said, "Is it time." Cody and I talked for a little bit, said she was dilated to a 5 and that they had admitted her. Cody said "We called you first because we knew you had the farthest way to drive, but Amy told me to tell you that she didn't want you leaving until 5:30. She doesn't want you driving this early in the morning." Hahahaha!!! Did my sister just say something that was caring! This baby is changing her for the better!! Sometimes she surprises me in the ways she lets me know that she really does care. It often times is random and off the cuff, but I guess if it wasn't it wouldn't be Amy.

Well now I knew that the cookies I made the night before were for sure going to last me until I left for my drive down to Ark City. I began packing my bags took a shower and I was out of town by 5:30, so maybe I listen without even purposefully knowing. It was a great drive. I was wide awake the whole time. Those of you that know me, know that driving and darkness while being alone or even just driving long distances are never good for me. I tend to fall asleep at the wrong times. Often while being the driver. eeks! Though this time I was wide awake ready for the day, partly because of the baby that was wanting to come into the world, but also because I had taken an hour cat nap. The Lord knew what was coming and what I needed to get me home safe so I think he woke me up just for that reason.

I arrived at the hospital around 8:30 and this is what you would have found us doing.

Puzzles and Phase 10.

Here we were waiting for the little guy to come. At this time I think he might have already been born, but we hadn't seen him. They came out and told us he was here but we weren't able to go in for about another 40min.

He was born @ 9:59am 7.3lbs and 20in long. Healthy baby boy.

We hug out there until evening and I even held him.

So along with our new addition to the family I will definitely be make trips home much more often. How knows maybe this is just what I needed as an extra push to move back home. I can't wait for this little man be be crawling and moving around. Thank you Lord for such a blessing to our family. I AM NOW OFFICIALLY AN AUNT!!!!

"Refiner's Fire"

Sorry, there wasn't a post last night. I was held up by an unforeseen circumstance. ...Work. I had totally forgotten I had signed up to work at the BCC on Friday night. Oops!

Well my "Lady in Waiting" status has been on my mind a lot lately. I am not sure why, because I have been blessed to be with my family a lot recently keeping me from being alone. For the last couple of months I haven't really had to face my status, I knew it was there but I didn't pay much attention. I have been able to put it behind me and just go on with my daily activities. But lately it has been at the back of my my mind, maybe because of the holidays and all the parties and get together that couples do. I don't know, though whatever it is, it's there.

I am going to share a few things that the Lord has shared with me, through the last decade of my single life.

1) When God says something(someone) is ACCEPTABLE, don't say it(he) isn't. Acts 10:15
2) The only luggage of mine that needs to match his is a)I have been justified (Rom 5:1), b)I have been bought with a price (1 Cor 16:19-20), c)I have been redeemed (Col 1:14), d)I have the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16), e)Christ lives in me (Col 1:27)
3) That the one thing I am afraid of the MOST in life keeps me from the man God has for me. (Maybe I will get enough guts to share it one day, or after I share it with my future husband!!)


Isn't neat how the Lord teaches and refines us. He takes that time to HOLD me over the fire, at just the right heat, so I can become the woman of God He wants me to be, so I can become the wife He wants me to be, so I can become the mom He wants me to be. Now that I can SURRENDER my whole self, that one day God can see himself in the refined silver.

Post coming this evening...

Thanksgiving has past and Christmas is around the corner. "Christmas"? Did I just say Christmas? Oh my word I can't believe that time has come. Writing this just makes me so excited.

I love this time of year. I love buying gifts and I absolutly love winter. I love the idea of buddleing up to go play in the snow, of a cold winter weekend inside with sweats and a sweatshirt snuggled under a blakey watching a chick-flick. I also don't mind the excuse to hang with my family. Which by the way if your reading this please say a little prayer for my sister, she isn't feeling well

and said her stomach hurts really bad. We are praying that this has nothing to do with the life growing inside her. I will post something when all is well or we know what is going on.
Back to this time of year. I love the snow!!! It is sooo beautiful, I don't think there is anything that can match it than being able to see the beauty of God in heavan on day. The snow makes all that the earth that seems so filthy washed and made new again. I love it.
Well maybe when I am not on my phone I will type more up. I think it is time for bed. I hope everyone had a great Thankgiving.

Thanksgiving has past and Christmas is around the corner. "Christmas"? Did I just say Christmas? Oh my word I can't believe that time has come. Writing this just makes me so excited.

I love this time of year. I love buying gifts and I absolutly love winter. I love the idea of buddleing up to go play in the snow, of a cold winter weekend inside with sweats and a sweatshirt snuggled under a blakey watching a chick-flick. I also don't mind the excuse to hang with my family. Which by the way if your reading this please say a little prayer for my sister, she isn't feeling well

Serving and Worshiping while I Wait.

So I opened my page and listened to my first song, and I remember how much I really love this song. It really does explain where I am in my life right now. It much more than being single and waiting for the husband that God might have for me. God has much more for my life, and I must continue while I am waiting for Him to come. He is my all in all, and I want to serve and worship Him while I wait, for His coming day. I don't want to miss an opportunity.


I finished my sisters baby showers, I enjoyed them. I really liked to see all the baby stuff, it was very new to us all. Amy said she had never been overwhelmed like that besides the time she opened her wedding gifts. It was precious to see all the gifts the women had so graciously given to her. God provides and and takes care of those who love and serve him.

This was from the shower the Church gave her.

This was from the shower that my mom and my sister put on.

THANKS TO ALL WHO CAME!!

Fall Equals Lots of Trips....and Arkalala

I can't believe it has been a little over 2 weeks since I have posted anything, but I have been really busy.


October 23rd I left town to visit my granma who lives near Nashville. She had just had bypass surgery which she currently is still recovering from and doing marvelous job with all her physical therapy. It was nice to get away for a weekend. I spent a lot of time with my grandfather. We went to church, went for walks even took the dogs to the dog park around the corner from his house. He really liked it too. He told me tons of stories while we were together. Near the end I decided that I would record him because I knew I would never be able to remember everything he said, so I pulled out my phone and started recording. =) I don't think he ever realized what was going on!!!



This last weekend Oct 31st, I went home for my home towns fall festival, Arkalala. There are tons of things I enjoy about this weekend. There is tons of rides (that I don't ride because I have gotten too old), great food (pancake feed saturday morning), a parade (that can be awesome and not so awesome, this year it was awesome), the bands night performance (which is really much better than it sounds, KState came and performed this year), and tons of friends and family getting together enjoying everything in fellowship. It really is a good time.

Speaking of fun time, I ran into one of my favorite friends. He is THE biggest cowboy you might ever meet. I sat and listened to him tell story after funny story for about 2 hours. He had me laughing my face was sore when he left. It was a great time.

I was also able to see Amy (my sisters) house, in person, for the first time! That was neat to see the progress they have made to making it their home for the family they are starting. Which brings me to my next subject.



This weekend is Amys first shower. The church down in Ark City is giving Amy a shower. I am so excited to see all the little pleople clothes. I think I am more excited than she is, I just can't wait to be an aunt. The following weekend is Amy's second shower that Mom, Katie and I are putting together. That should be fun! This weekend Katie and I are going to shop around on Saturday morning to see what I want to get.

Then the week after this I stay in KC for a short time because the very next wednesday I am heading back home to AC. Yup, you heard me HOME, H-O-M-E. I still consider it my home. I didn't think I would really enjoy it as much as I do, but I really do love going back. I was actually thinking about how great it would be to move back at some time in my life. I know now is not that time because it is no place for a "Lady in Waiting".

Ok, back on topic I will then be going home that Wednesday for Thanksgiving. Can you believe it is that close? Then a few weeks after that I have a trip planned to go to Branson with some friends. I am excited to go to Silver Dollar City. I love it there at Christmas time...what am I kidding myself? I love it there anytime of the year. =)

Well now that it has taken me a week to get this all typed so I can post it, I am going to tell you that pictures will come soon as well as a new post about my sisters showers!!! I can't wait for that little guy to come and join us it is going to be such a blessing.

Creepy Drunk Guy

So there I was...
Sitting in the office at the Ballconference Center making sure the people at the reception didn't burn down the building. It was a little slower than usual, the wedding party was gone but the mom and friends had been cleaning up for about an hour. I stepped out of the office to make sure that everything was going well. The door was barely open.
Next thing I know a guy walked in asking me my name and began to nearly close the door behind him. My heart began to race and my eyes got really big. He asked me if I owned the building and told him that I was running it for the evening. He asked me my name and number and I told him my name and gave him Michaels (the managers card). He said "Good. Thanks. You'll be hearing from me." As he was walking out he said "Your name should be bunny" What really bunny come on. I then at that point realized this guy was really drunk, and that was the same guy that the bartender was giving vodka shots to. I told him I liked my name and asked what kind of name would bunny be for a human. He said "Why wouldn't you want your name to be bunny? Bunny's are furry." I said your drunk go now. "No I am not drunk." "Ok, then. Your hitting on me." He went on to say that yes he was and a few choice words that I have chosen to forgotten, and then I told him to get out. That he needed to go have fun somewhere else. He was not a happy camper. Creeeeepy!
A few seconds after the creeper left I went and locked the door. Everytime I come back in I lock the door behind me. I am still not quite at ease. Well I will definately be calling my mom on my way to my car tonight. I have never been that creeped out ever. I had a drunk guy come and talk to me one night but it wasn't the same way. And that dude got the clue I wasn't interested.

I am so glad that I have chosen to stay away from that part of the world. I don't know if he would have done anything if I had been in another situation, but by golly I don't want to ever give anyone the chance. Thank you Lord for protecting me, keeping me calm and giving me the words to say to get him out of here.

Christmas is coming!

So...I have a plan whether or not I will actually do it, I have it all planned. I am 25, officially an adult and responsible, or at least that is what my insurance company thinks!! So I thought this year might be a good year to send out Christmas cards.



I have always wanted to send out the picture ones, so I have hired one of the girls in the youth group to take a few pictures of me and the dog. Wont that be fun!!!? I can't wait. Now to get it all implemented and do it.


Just imagine GREAT pictures like this on your door step near Christmas!! (professionally done of course!) You would never have to miss my face. All you would need to do is look at your refrigerator! Just kidding but it would be fun to send for my first Christmas cards ever.

Let me know if you want a Christmas card!






These were done by me using my phone. No good, but fun anyways!

Blessed is the name of the Lord

About a week ago I was reading preparing for a bible study on Thursday nights. Thursday is the dog agility class but I had just gotten back from Las Vegas so Kayle was still with her Aunt Katie. So I went to bible study. Oh how much I miss bible study with Charlotte. God has given her a great about of wisdom. I can only hope that I will be obedient to the Lord enough to become the woman of God He wants me to be.
Well about this bible study I knew I was going to go when the class was over so I went and got all the material from Char so I could be on the same page as the other women when I was able to start up. Char said "Jannie, there is homework you understand that...right?" "Yeah, it will be good. It will keep me accountable", is what I said, or so I had hoped. Well I will say I have not been a good steward of the time the Lord has given to me. The day of the study I skimmed through Job and answered the questions in the beginning and a few at the end. Just enough to make someone think I did something. I really wish I wasn't being lazy, because what I learned that night was great, and imagine what the Lord could have shown me if I would have read the entire book and answered all the questions on my own.
That night the Lord reiterated a lot of things I knew, but needing a reminder of. God allowed Satan to take a lot from Job, but that didn't stop Job from praising God. He said "Naked I have come, naked I will go. The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away. BLESSED IS THE NAME OF THE LORD." Do I ever bless the name of the Lord when something has been taken away or things aren't going the way I had planned or hoped they would be? No I don't. I complain, out loud so everyone knows "Oh woe is Jannie". Dear me, how self absorbed is that.
My life, the way it is now is set up to have an easy relationship with the Lord serving him in all I do. I have no responsibilities that don't involve some sort of ministry besides paying my bills. I teach Sunday school, help out with the youth group and work for a company who has chosen to build its business with the chief cornerstone (Cornerstone Endodontics) in charge of all that we do. Serving him and our patients that come in. Why can't I take a few minutes out of my day (the day He has given me) to spend with him. I claim he is my friend, but do I treat him like one?
Things may not be going the way I hoped they would be by now but this time I have right now is Jesus and Jannie time. In the beginning it was God and man, that's it. God and man. Right now its God and me. What am I going to do about it?

I'm back!!

So I think it may just have been about 2weeks since I have given a report. I have a lot going on in my head, I don't ever understand it so I don't usually end up writing any of it down. I can though tell you what has been going on.
1. I have gotten all my test back and they said everything is normal, nothing out of the ordinary for me except for one hormone is really out of whack, but with some meds. they gave me in the beginning I hope to be able to stabilize it.
I still get tingling in my hands during the day, but when I said something to the Dr. he didn't say anything he blew it off and continued talking about something else. I guess I will just have to do more digging if it worsens.
2. I went to Las Vegas on Sept 19th and returned home on Sept 24th at 1am in the morning. It was a lot of fun as always. My mom got a little confused when reserving a hotel room. thought she was reserving 2 rooms with 2beds and only reserved 1room with 2beds so for the first 2 nights we had 6people in the room then we moved everthing over to the time share on Monday afternoon.
Which by the way Monday was a crazy day. My uncle met us in LV, he wanted to go riding up on bootleg mountain with us. My dad was sick Sat-Mon and the two guys mom and dad brought along with them only wanted to go around and get free stuff on Monday so that left me and my Uncle to go to the top of the mountain. I have always thought I was good with directions. Not great but good, little did I know. I have riden down the mountain 4times but this time I couldn't remember the way down. I took the wrong path. My uncle thought we were heading in the wrong direction so we had to climb back up the trial, back to where we started. By golly I can't believe we did that in 100 degree weather in the middle of desert. Oh and did I mention we didn't have any water. I felt like one of the Iseralites out in the desert with no water, but I think they were out there for a bit longer than 6hrs. =) I was so thirsty, I started feeling dizzy and my body started protecting itself from heat exhaustion and started giving me the chills. Getting the chills in the heat of the afternoon out in the middle of the desert was a bit strange. After what felt like days and a bit of dehydration we got back and refueled. I didn't go back up that day, I wasn't feeling well as you can imagine. I felt bad for my uncle no one would go ride. But he did say he was coming back next yr with with one of his boys!
3. I got back worked on Thursday. I missed my agility class with Kayle because she was still with Katie. Friday Katie brought her up to me and hung out that night at some friends house. They go to church with us and wanted the Youth Adult group to come over for dinner. It was really nice of them to open their house up to us. =)
4. Katie and I woke up early so she could get a head start since she was suppose to work at 1pm ons Saturday, but didn't end up needing to go in until 3pm. Oh well. I then went to the church to help out with cleaning and taking down everything on the walls. We are getting ready to move to the new church and are preparing for that move. It is going to be pretty plain at the church for the next three weeks.
5. Now I sit at the Ball Conference Center listening to classical music while a bride and groom celebrate their VERY specail day. Isn't that ironic that I have chosen to work for a facility that host weddings and reception parties. It usually doesn't bother me much in fact I think I like it because it give me great ideas for my little sisters wedding one day!!!! You just never know! Everyone is so different. This is the first wedding that I have been to here that had a live band and I love it. They also have a DJ, but I am defenitly digging the live stuff. It's classy.

Now I have given you my weeks story I think I am going to take some time to read a book I brought I started reading on my plane ride back but I taked to an avid roadie on my way back from LV that told me about some great trails in the area I can't wait to try out. Till another day my friends!! =)

Not quite the results...

So I had the procedure. It went great. I was a bit dizzy on Tuesday and then again on Wednesday, but by 7 o'clock Wednesday night I felt like myself again. Boy am I glad they put me under anesthesia. Pain meds=a great feeling.....absolutely nothing!!! Maybe most my worry was from the unknow feeling after it all. The only side effect is some really light spotting.
Now I just wait for the results of which I am pretty confident about. My lining was only at a 7mm which is great! Often times right before a woman has her period (before the lining is shed) her lining is up around 14mm. And I haven't had a period in a little over a year so think 17missed periods @ 14mm...WoW!! I am doing great, least that is what I think. I haven't made my next set of labs or my follow up appt, but my guess it will be the last couple days of the month. I will get back with you all and let you know the standings.

I was going to say something also about being single, but I can't remember what it was, so it must not be too important. Possible better that I didn't say anything at all. =)

Change My Heart Oh God

I wasn't going to write about this because it would go against the title of my blog, but the more I thought about it, in the end it doesn't.
Well today was a crazy day. I spent a good portion of my day at the doctors. About 3yrs ago they told me I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). A few things that are related to this are irregular or the absence of periods, excessive hair growth in unwanted areas, acne, rapid weight gain and in many women insulin resistance. Is often caught in women who are TTC (trying to conceive), premenopausal women, and obese women.
I am now going to rewind to 3yrs ago when it all started. I think I had mentioned to my mom that I hadn't had a period in about 6months. She insisted that I go in and see the doctor, I was hesitant because I had always had irregular periods so going for 6months at a time wasn't a big issue to me. I would in for allergy meds., which my mom suggested with other alternatives, and as always the nurse would ask about my last period I would try to think about when it was and my mom would chime in and ask about the time between them. Every now and then the dr. would put me on a pill to have them. After two yrs of going through having med induced periods, my mom started to get worried. I thought it was strange but I probably would have never done anything about it. As many of you know I think I am "invincible". Finally mom really had concerns and they did some testing. Since I wasn't really worried I didn't pay much attention to the the results or to anything really for that matter. My general dr. sent me to the gynecologist who diagnosed me with PCOS and then referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist in Wichita.
I never took what they said real seriously, everything I knew about my body was normal, its all I had known. When I went to the specialist he explained what was going on in my body, but it all went over my head. I knew I had always wanted big, puffy hair for some reason!! =) I really tried to understand I just didn't get it. Everything they told me was "...this couldn't happen", "you really don't have to worry about this now", "its really not that big of a deal until you want to have a baby ". Great info to feed me if you want me to be consistent with the treatment plan! ha, yea right. Not having a period was normal to me, the acne and extra hair growth was normal to me, maybe a bit embarrassing but normal. I had dealt with it for the last 10yrs of my life, what was the problem?
For the first year or so I was was pretty consistent with my appointments, but the meds were another story. BCP's were not my cup of tea. I would forget to take them at the special time and then I would spot or even have a full blown period 2 or 3 times during the month. I was never very consistent taking them, but I didn't see any changes either. The dr. was good at trying to work with me on only needing to take the pills 3times a yr, but it just didn't work. Taking them to have a period was just never in my schedule. I know great excuse.
As for the BCP's I never felt comfortable taking them. I was always afraid of what people would think if they saw I was taking them. What is the first thing you think about when you hear birth control pill.....hmmmmm....maybe a pill that helps you not have a baby while you are being sexually active. Exactly what the name of the pill is. What if the youth girls were over and saw them in my bathroom, or I was on a trip with them and they saw them. Everyone know teenage girls or just girls/women in general are noisy. What kind of message would that send to the girls. I am suppose to be a living example to them to save themselves for their husbands. This is one of the main reasons I have chosen not to take them.
I hadn't gone back in a about a year in a half, so I decided it was time to get this under control. Mainly from the loving sutle pushes from my mom. I didn't want to drive all the way to Wichita all the time for appointments, so I decided I would try a dr up here in the Kansas City area, and today was the day of my first appointment. I had never really had a problem going to the dr.. I have always felt fine, remember "I am invincible".
Today was different. I felt so alone in there, all of the women in there had their husbands with them. Then it was just me. I prayed a lot while I was there. I can't remember any time I had gone to the dr.'s office and prayed as much as I did or even if I ever had.
They want to rule out any other issues that may be causing my hormones to be out of wack, so I have lab tests on Thursday morning, and the Tuesday the 8th I have to have a endometrial biopsy done. They will take a scrapping from the wall of my uterus to check for pre cancerous cells. They are pretty sure that I don't have it, but since I have only had 2 period in the last 2yrs he wants to rule it out. Then I will go back in soon after that to have some more blood tests. Then finally at the end of the month I will go back in to discuss all the results of the tests. I feel pretty comfortable with the fact that nothing is going to be wrong, "I am invincible", but going through it all makes me really nervous. I am hoping my mom will be here for the biopsy, its kind of nice to be able to just at least hold someones hand through it all.
I have been so tired lately it is ridiculous, then with my allergies and all this it is taking a toll on me emotionally. I have been crying all the time. Maybe it is good that I am going through this, it will bring me to my knees. All this can make it extremely hard and sometimes impossible to have a child, and although I can't have one right now, I do eventually want to get married and have children. I pray everyday that the Lord will change my heart if he would have something else for me. I want what He wants, but getting to that place is so hard. Getting rid of my flesh is like trying to peel the potato skins off without a peeler. I pray that God would just take a hold of that peeler and just start peeling away. I pray that I would just stand back and watch all that dirt be taken away so I will never what it in my life again. That I can truly repent of my sins.
Change my heart Oh God, make it ever new. Change my heart Oh God, may I be like you.
God is good to me, he will take care of me. I just pray that I will allow him to. Show me Lord what it is that you would have me learn though this.

ONE DAY I...

...want to be the woman God created me to be.
...want to have the compassion for others that I could never imagine.
...want to go without worrying about the mistakes I don't want to make.
...want to be with someone loves me for me.
...want to be a bride.
...want a special day.
...want to go to Greece.
...want to go to Italy.
...want to know who I am.
...want to go out and tell others about the God I love, without the fear of rejection.
...want to go on a cruise.
...want to know who I am in Christ.
...want to be a mom.
...want to have tons of kids!!!
...want to feel loved, not just know it.
...want to visit Isreal.
...want to know the plans the Lords has for me, to grow and prosper me.
...want to be able to articulate to myself and others how amazing the God I know and serve is
...want to exercise the way I know I should.
...want motivation.
...want to ride a horse.
...want to live in the mountains.
...want my dog to live forever.
...want to have grace.
...want to have a heavenly focus.
...hope to believe, not know, that God is the only thing I need.
...hope to be doing what God has called me to do.
...hope to find myself.
...hope to be able to truely give every aspect of my life over to the Lord.
...hope to surrender.
...hope to love the way God would love.
...want and hope to be obedient
...want and hope to be patient while waiting on the Lord.